Chimps, being our incredibly close relatives are one of the most clever and inventive non-human animals, something that extends to figuring out creative ways of getting your rocks off. This chimp at the Honolulu zoo has figured out that he can catch a frog and use the poor thing as nature's Fleshlight. Laugh all you want, I guarantee there's a video out there of some kid forcing a frog to suck him off... but you're on your own finding it.

It's getting cooler in the northern hemisphere, which means that it's getting warmer in the southern hemisphere, which means it's time for Australia's "OMG sharks are going to kill us everybody panic!" news stories, but this is an interesting twist-- a big fucking great white was caught off the coast of Queensland with a big fucking chunk taken out of the side by an even bigger great white. Apparently, this is just how great whites show they love each other.

Animals are awesome and drinking is awesome... well, drinking can be fun, at least as far as I hear. I can't hold my liquor worth a shit, so a wild night out for me is a beer and a couple shots. But there's apparently quite a few animals on the YouTubes that can hold their liquor better than I can. Click here to see the 20 drunkenest animals on YouTube via Comedy.com.

Clownpenis submitted this article several days ago and it's taken me til now to post it, since the parasite in question makes me gag a little, but it's an interesting bit of the animal world. Fisherman off the coast of Jersey, UK pulled up a fish, only to discover the grinning parasite below living as the tongue of the fish. As in the parasite at the fish's tongue and replaced itself as the tongue. God damn nature.

Dead animals, dead people and dead hookers all stink. They stink so bad because your brain tells you "Holy shit, that thing is dead, maybe you should avoid it. You know, in case it's diseased or something." Turns out that insects also have the same instinct for avoiding other dead instincts, even though it's something that people can't smell, probably because we revel in the sight of a dead insect.

In response to the video of the lil cute baby chicks being ground alive from a few days ago, Lexi sent me this article from Discovery Magazine about a philosopher (read: unemployed guy) who proposed that we meat-eating people have a moral obligation to consider the option of breeding livestock that cannot feel pain.

From Discover: